Doubt

Am I good enough? Do I have the ability to keep up? Why do I try? What’s the point of pushing myself?

Those are the questions going through my head today as I sit at my kit. And I’m feeling defeated because of them.

Today was very boring because of the weather and the holidays coming to a close, so I sat at my kit to practice and find my limitations. I found them. Right away. I thought it would be cool to just play and enjoy myself at first because this usually gets my blood pumping and my hands warmed up. I found out that I was not enjoying myself.

Why?

Probably because of the blahs of the holidays and lack of inspiration. Probably because everyone has a bad day and I was just “off”.

Whatever the reason, it messed me up and I couldn’t “get my groove”, so to speak. I tried watching some youtube videos of drummers, but they just made me feel even more incapable.

Now, I know my abilities and have been playing for over twenty years. I also know my accomplishments and I’m proud of them. But am I good enough? So as I read the statuses of my friends and see they are looking back, I’m looking forward.

Where can I take my drumming? Should I set goals? What are they? How can I get better?

I know it’s ridiculous. I know I am good enough. I know I can play and I can get better. I know God gave me the ability. But do I know it in my heart or just in my head?